Until There's a "Peanuts of the Carob Bean" ...

This flavor will have to serve as the official ice cream of Pirate Season. At least it isn't Spam-flavored.

Hoisting of the Main Sail

Outfitting of the good ship Maryland is proceeding smoothly. Yesterday, two hired hands boarded ship and equipped her with a new main sail in the ship's standard colors: stucco, blue and brown. The galley has been fully stocked thanks to donations from sister ships Masselin and Mansfield and the crew expects to take advantage of the inclement weather, trim the sails and embark for points east in six days' time.

Pirate Season's First Contest: Gname the Gnome

While my bride is trotting the globe, my feckless crew is stocking the good ship Maryland to the gunwales with trinkets and pirate eats. Heather (another lass without a proper pirate name as of yet) crossed my palm with a hearty chili (delivered in a stripedy Paul Smith bag no less) and Khanh the marauder (not her pirate name but it could be) offered up a garden gnome with beady little eyes that follow you like an old-man painting in "Scooby-Doo."
I am calling him "Deck Hand Ruddy" until he's properly named, and am launching a contest to find a suitable name. It needn't be piratey at all as he will be here during times the missus is on board, but I think his wily and clever nature demands an equally wily and clever name. Post your suggestions here as comments. Winner gets a bottle of rum from the pirate caves and bragging rights.

My own suggestion: Gnome Chomsky

Voyage to Kitchen Island

Pirate Season '07 got off to a jolly (Roger) good start, beta testing the new vessel (the Maryland) with a skeleton crew of Kathleen, Claire and Bones on board for Super Bowl XLI. No one has taken heed to choose their pirate name yet -- though Bones doesn't really need to. (How lucky is the Maryland to have crew member named "Bones"?) He reminds me of the guy in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies who was also on the original Brit version of "The Office" (he's the one who had his eye stolen by the undead monkey -- in the movie not the TV show. I don't think the show ever had an undead monkey though Ricky Gervais would have had a blast with that.)
The maiden voyage went without a hitch, Claire won the galley-ho award for going for feeding the crew with a host of retro fare (homemade Chex mix, meatballs served on pirate-like skewers and a fruit-filled Jell-O dessert that was pillaged heartily by the entire crew).
Incidentally there was some kind of game on the TV the whole time -- won by somebody named Colt. The best part was Prince fiddling with his instrument behind a shadow curtain during halftime. Sly devil that he is, proving that you can uphold the letter of the law for the FCC and still make it look like you're stroking your glyph in front of the whole world.
No word on the next voyage though the great desert island of Lost Wages looms.